Dig Me A Hole !

I went to therapy Friday morning as usual. Bob drove me. I had a question for one of the three women who work behind the counter, so Bob went ahead to sit down

After I had finished, I walked over to sit by Bob. In the process of sitting, I reached down, put my hand on Bob's thigh and gave him a gentle squeeze. Something I have done a hundred times in 42 years.

THEN

From across the room, a familiar voice. "Hey!" "What"re you doing?"

I looked across the room, and there sits Bob.

THEN

Seconds of complete bewilderment pass. My hand leaves thigh fast! My hand hits me in chest hard! I am having trouble breathing! My mind isn't helping me one damn bit.

I wish those damn women behind the counter would quit laughing! I can't think!

I sneak a peek. Oh my God! No prayer answered here. There aren't two Bobs!

I manage to get across the room and into a chair by Bob without fainting.

Those laughing women are REALLY getting on my nerves!

I say, "What the hell are you doing over here?" "You ALWAYS sit over there!"

I can't understand a darn word he says!

Now, he, those darn women, AND the patient across the room are laughing. I don't see what is so damn funny.

All kinds of thoughts are racing through my mind. I can't come up with a way to get out of here! Bob seems perfectly fine and doesn't need an emergency procedure at the moment, so that is not an option! If I just had a hole!

STOP the laughter! I can't think!

At this point, unknown thigh is taken to the south wing of the building. I will be taken to the north wing very soon and I think I won't have to "face" unknown thigh again.

Not to be.

Unknown thigh returns almost immediately. I have no choice. I muster what little dignity I have left and look up. Unknown thigh is watching me.

I do the right thing. I apologise. I explain my "honest" mistake. Same build, same shoes, same jeans, same color hooded sweatshirt, both have gray facial hair and both wearing caps. (God DID help me here. Mouth didn't say they had the same thighs.)

Will those women NEVER stop?

Unknown thigh responds by hiking his pants, sticking out his chest and saying,"No problem. Made my day"!

I hope those damn women have wet pants all day!

Ignoring unknown thighs actions and remarks, I graciously thanked him for accepting my apology, as I hadn't yet figured out how I would explain to my grand children why Grandma is a registered sex offender.

THERE! I hope those women choke!

My name was called, and I made my exit.